Thursday, May 28, 2009

If Thine I Be Single


People are at war with themselves. This is true of almost everyone. There is a good reason for this; it's because there are two of you. One is your spiritual being (Self) and the other is the ego. Both refer to themselves as "I", and both issue directives. When you choose to follow the Self, the ego pitches a fit. If the ego is obeyed, the Self withdraws. Unconflicted existence requires that only one of these two "I"s prevail. Either choice results in greater effectiveness.
Choosing the ego is more common, and I think this is what the control system means by "illumination". This choice results in the pure psychopath, and this kind of person is undeniably effective. He has an enormous advantage over those who are still in conflict because he operates without restraint from the Self. This path is more common but not less difficult. The banishment of the Self requires some pretty horrific conditioning and the control system has spent centuries perfecting the process.
If the ego is abandoned and Self is chosen, the result is known as spiritual mastery or sainthood. This is less often achieved, and part of the reason is that most of us don't know that a choice is required. We are led to believe that compromise is not only possible, but preferable. The control system encourages this belief, as it provides them with an ineffective populous that they can easily control. They also use every means at their disposal to feed our egos, making them harder to overcome. These means include the media, the economy, social prejudice, materialist science, and the education system. They have given us religions that teach us to worship the Self-realised Ones instead of following their example. The suppression of the feminine is part of this strategy also.
The control system sees that the unrestrained ego is more powerful than the ego/Self duality, so they think they have chosen well. They may think they are going to win total control over this planet but they have made a fatal miscalculation. Their mistake relates to power. The ego is unconnected to Source and therefore dependent upon external sources of power. The only power it has is what it can steal, and it can only use power that matches it's own vibration, eg. fear, avarice, depression, lust, hatred, etc. The Self, on the other hand, has it's own, infinite power source. The Self is connected to this source of power through the heart chakra. It is the Love vibration and it is limited only by the openness of the heart center. It can't ever run out and it can manifest miracles. When we connect to and channel this power, we rob the ego of it's food. If the ego is not fed, it is weakened, and eventually departs or dies.
The Love vibration is key to the overthrow of the control system. Because it is unlimited, it can poured out indiscriminately to all. As it is absorbed by those who can use it, it multiplies and grows exponentially. It won't be on the six o'clock news, but this is already beginning to occur. Those who are sensitive to energy can feel it. The wholly ego-driven, who are unable to use this power, are becoming increasingly unstable and in many cases, physically ill. This is a very good sign and nothing to worry about. If things seem to be going haywire right now, we should see this as a healing crisis. A new world is being born.
Will the real "I" please stand up.

Monday, May 25, 2009

The Pool of Tears


I want to talk about depression and it's relationship with spirituality. This is something I have extensive personal experience with. I was first diagnosed with clinical depression at the age of 17. I was placed on meds and within a few months I felt better... for a while. A few years later I was back in black and this cycle repeated a total of four times. The fourth time I was put on a newer drug, Zoloft. Instead of getting better, this time it got worse and, in desperation, I took an overdose. I didn't really want to die; I just wanted the pain to stop. I discovered later on that this class of drugs is known to cause this kind of reaction. The depression returned one more time in 1998. This time I decided not to take the pills but to try to understand and resolve whatever was behind it. I think I was too exhausted to struggle anymore and I just gave up fighting it. Instead I dove for the bottom to see what was there. What I found was... nothing. The depression had all along been caused by the struggle to avoid feeling pain. This was the end of depression for me and I somehow knew it. It did not stop me from feeling emotional pain, but the pain could come and go without creating the spiral into despair. It is this despair spiral that defines depression and not the sadness on which it feeds.

Our society makes a terrible mistake in viewing depression as a disease, rather than an opportunity for self-knowledge. Most doctors believe it is caused by an imbalance of brain chemistry. This imbalance is only it's physical, symptomatic counterpart, not it's cause. It is caused by the awareness and rejection of sadness, whether our own or that of others. Antidepressants only reinforce this rejection of legitimate emotion. Sadness is actually a comparatively sane response for a sensitive, compassionate person, given the amount of suffering in the world today. In effect we have chosen to treat compassion as a disease. It is estimated that about 20 % of the population (mostly women) have been "treated" for depression. You'd think that, if that many people were so unhappy with the way things are that they can no longer function, we would change the way things are. It makes you wonder, if these "brave new drugs" hadn't been invented, whether the revolution might already have happened.
Once the transition from resistance to acceptance has occured, we are in a position to examine our feelings and trace them to their source. We find that there are other layers to this onion. Now it is seen that our own pain is really the ego's pain, for the Infinite Awareness cannot be hurt, only our self-image can, and this self-image is the ego. The ego's cunning is a wonder to behold. There could be no more worthy adversary. It's next trick involves displacing it's resistance onto the pain of others. In this way it maintains separation by passing judgement on the chosen experience of another. (There really are no "others". All are incarnations of the One.)It is difficult to see this as a manifestation of ego because it seems like the very opposite of that. If we see another in pain, we may believe that if we don't feel pain also, we don't care. Now we may feel guilt. But wait. If you look back to your times of greatest suffering, you most often find that those trials deepened your experience and brought wisdom. If you could go back and spare yourself the experience, would you? I definitely would not.
Occasionally a trouble shared is a trouble halved. In these situations, empathy is called for. But most of the time, trouble shared is only trouble doubled. This is very much the case when one learns of the control system and the horrors it visits upon the innocent. This knowledge can break your heart. In these cases you weaken yourself without helping the other, and the ego (as well as the control system) gets an all-you-can-eat buffet. It would be better to send the other person your love and strength instead. Isn't this what you would want for yourself? Incidentally, both the ego and the control system are unable to process the Love frequency. The more of this energy you can channel through you, the more you undermine both these forces.
In Lak'ech.

Wednesday, May 20, 2009

A Place to Call Home

Each person who sets out in search of Truth does so for their own reasons. In my case it was about finding my home, the place where I belong. I spent the first twenty years of this life moving around British Columbia. I went to thirteen different schools and the longest I spent in one place was two and a half years in Victoria. There was no opportunity to grow attached to places or people and I didn't want to anyway. It would have made it harder to leave. When I was 12 my family broke up and my parents moved to separate cities. All this rootlessness set the stage perfectly for what was to come. In "Through the Looking Glass", Alice leaves the looking glass house and sets off toward a hill in the garden, but each time she finds herself back at the house.


"It's no use talking about it," Alice said, looking up at the house and pretending it was arguing with her. "I'm not going in again yet. I know I should have to get back through the looking glass again -- back into the old room --- and there'd be an end of all my adventures!"
So, resolutely turning her back upon the house, she set out once more down the path, determined to keep straight on till she got to the hill. For a few minutes all went on well, and she was just saying "I really shall do it this time ---" when the path gave a sudden twist and shook itself (as she described it afterwards), and the next moment she found herself actually walking in at the door.
"Oh, it's too bad!" she cried. "I never saw such a house for getting in the way! Never!"

On Alice's next attempt, she comes upon some talking flowers. During their conversation, she spots the Red Queen.
"I think I'll go and meet her," said Alice, for, though the flowers were interesting enough, she felt that it would be far grander to have a talk with a real Queen.
"You can't possibly do that," said the Rose: "I should advise you to walk the other way."
This sounded nonsense to Alice, so she said nothing, but set off at once towards the Red Queen. To her surprise she lost sight of her in a moment, and found herself walking in at the front-door again.
A little provoked, she drew back, and, after looking everywhere for the Queen (whom she spied out at last, a long way off), she thought she would try the plan, this time, of walking in the opposite direction.
It succeeded beautifully. She had not been walking a minute before she found herself face to face with the Red Queen, and full in sight of the hill she had been so long aiming at.
This is such a perfect description of the search for the heart's desire. As long as it is sought "out there", it only recedes further. The external world is a mirage, ever shifting, never reached. Home is truly "where the heart is". It is to be found within the still center, the only permanent thing. Paradoxically, the search for home, the place where I belong, has involved leaving behind everything that normally provides security, accepting no substitutes. Places, people, tradition, beliefs, even personality all pass away. This is freedom. This is my home. It is nowhere... and everywhere.

Wednesday, May 6, 2009

Adventures With the Tzolkin


A little over a year ago, I read "The Mayan Factor" by Jose Arguelles. Up until this time I had never deeply considered the inner and inherent aspects of time. I was pretty excited. "Ooh look, a brand new rabbit hole!" While most of the buzz around Mayan time-keeping has focused on the end of the long count, I found I was more attracted to the Tzolkin. So I set out to find as much information about it as I could. This turned out to be... not much. I decided the way to proceed was to do my own research and let the calendar be the teacher. Many years ago I had painted a Tree of Life, incorporating my knowledge of symbols, colour and geometry. This took a good nine months or more to complete and taught me more about the hermetic qabalah than I could have imagined. The designing and execution served as a kind of meditation. I planned something similar with the Tzolkin. I decided to paint two sets of cards, twenty day sign cards and thirteen numbered ones. The stacks would sit side by side on business card stands and each day the front cards would move to the back (as in the photo). It seemed best to begin with Imix (the first day sign), and paint the cards on their proper days. I consulted my tables to find out when I could begin, and it turned out to be only three days away. Not only that, but it would be 1 Imix. I took this as a good omen. The first thing I noticed was an increase in energy, or maybe the energy was always there but I had not been aware of it's presence. In "Time and the Technosphere" Jose Arguelles wrote about the deadening effects of artificial, inorganic calendar systems. I was able to confirm this for myself. I should mention that Arguelles' proposed 13 moon Dreamspell calendar is not the Tzolkin, although he does use it's day signs and symbols. I don't know why he chose to do this. Another result of following the Tzolkin was an increase in experiences of synchronicity. Some of these were related to the timing of this project. For instance, I was curious about when my Tzolkin birthday would occur in the solar year. It turned out to be the day of my solar return. This synchronisation with the solar round occurs only once every 42 years/59 Tzolkin cycles. I am referring here to the true solar year, which is 365.241 days (not the Gregorian year of 365.25 days). This may point toward the fractal nature of time. If I had not begun this project when I did, I would certainly have missed this. Another notable coincidence was the end of this first Tzolkin cycle 13 Ahau, on the winter solstice. As I started to familiarise myself with the energies of the days, I began to notice that some were easy and pleasant for me (Cimi, Lamat, Chuen) while others were more challenging (Imix, Muluc, Cauac). The difficult days have become more managable as I've learned to adjust to their nature. If you know it's going to rain, you can plan to stay home or bring an umbrella. Another thing I did was compile a data base of the Tzolkin birthdates of family, friends and well-known people in order to reveal shared characteristics. I could only use people familiar to me so my sample base is small (142). In spite of this, there were some striking coincidences. My father married twice and both his partners were born on 10 Caban. Sigmund Freud and Carl Jung were both born on 9 Ben. Elvis Presley and Mick Jagger were both born on 2 Lamat. Charles Manson and Adolf Hitler were both born on 9 Oc. Joe Walsh, Bob Dylan and Van Morrison are all 3 Cib. There is a preponderence of powerful vocal artists born on Imix days (Rob Halford:4, Marianne Faithful:7, Robert Plant and Aretha Franklin:9, and Etta James and Janis Joplin:10). I can confidently assert that the Tzolkin is describing something real. I've found the Tzolkin easier to follow than the Gregorian calendar. I often don't know what the Gregorian date is but I always know the Tzolkin date and I have never lost count. I've never been good at routines, so this is something. The experience of making my own calendar was invaluable and I recommend it. However, a very similar one can be purchased here: http://mayanmajix.com/market_F1.html

Tuesday, May 5, 2009

If I Were You...



What if we are all the reincarnations of each other? What if this were the true meaning of Karma? If my actions affect you, I will experience those effects in another life... yours. People who have near-death experiences often tell of reliving their lives, not only from their own perspective, but also from the point of view of those they have touched. Most teachings on reincarnation that I've seen seem to preserve the idea of separation and to be bound to linear time. This might be more manageable for the concrete mind but it can only be truth from the perspective of the ego. From the point of view of our true Self, Infinite Awareness (IA), we are One. The experience of progressive development can be accounted for by vibrational resonance. The incarnate personality that answers to my name is not really me at all. It is a particular vibrational pattern, like a musical chord. The vibration is held in place on the physical plane by the DNA codes. I AM not this vibration; I AM the One who experiences it. In theory, I could recall any incarnation that is, was or will be. In practice I only recall those with vibrational resonance. When a "past life" is recalled, it invariably has a meaningful connection to this one. Some of the incarnations of IA manifest archetypal content. They are the heroes and heroines of history, the saints and monsters. Their lives become myths. They are meta-vibrations, simple notes, as opposed to chords. The "memories" of these lives are accessible to many because they resonate with the more complex vibrations. I AM the reincarnation of Hitler. I AM the reincarnation of Buddha. I have forgotten and I have remembered. In Lak'ech. (Mayan greeting, translation: "I am another you.")